bikes i got the money but i don't hehe

 

Akhirat investment

1.  To resume my quran lessons with Ustaz Khai
• The importance of tajweed
2.  To solat tahajud; pray to faster reunite with my parents 
3.  To keep in touch with my parents at least twice a week
4.  To teach my wife; strengthen her eman
5.  To recite surah yassin at least once a week, thursday nights
6.  To increase charity distribution
7.  To strengthen ties with families, neighbours
8.  To sunnah fast every monday and thursday
9.  To sunnah qada every missing solat before going to sleep
10.   To sunnah solat dhuha
11.  To withstand nafsu (7 deadly sins)
• lust - sexual craving
• gluttony
• pride - oversharing and boast self-achievements
• sloth - procrastination etc
• wrath - control anger and emotions
• greed - excessive desire towards materialism
• envy - despise towards others' well-being

Tweets - 6 May

 

In life, there are stuffs that happens once in a lifetime or never at all. That is why I'm still Broken heart when I sold off my sv650s. The only 600/650cc v2 in a sports varient. Okay maybe once or twice. There's a hyosung/nazablade 650 hahaha

@IslamicTongue · Mar 6 Pray not only because you need something but because you have a lot to be thankful for.

When I was young, I wanted to be a social media influencer. When I became wise, I decided to uninstall social media

If I get 20 cents per word for every rant I listen from boi mengeluh.. Fuh.. Takyah ot Smiling face with open mouth and tightly-closed eyes just listen to his stupid rants

Dr: ada rasa nak bunuh diri? Husband: ada Dr: but what stops you from suicide? Husband : kalau saya bunuh diri sekarang, tak dapat la tengok liverpool angkat championship. Dah 30 tahun saye tunggu *rimshot drum sound*

@LikneshR · Mar 10 I am an indian,i dont eat beef .I went to the burger shop to buy burger he cooks beef and chicken on the same place. Did i fight because of that ? No because it is an understanding ,if everyone gets this concept...maka ciptalah perpaduan

I'm very sure when mummy first met daddy 40 years ago there's 101 things she's annoyed of about him But when daddy will no longer around be, those same 101 things are what she actually can't live without Love is actually too vast and great for us to understand

Maybe kovid is just how humanity is being repaid. Especially global warming and stuffs

It's already 2020 I'm fine with people replying whatsapp messages the speed of emails. Because I do at that same speed too Else you can give a phone call. Just press this symbol located inside your phone Right pointing backhand index Telephone receiver It's actually a useful feature to get an immediate response

Side tracking though, I still wonder what happen to one of my best friends He's the first to be invited and congratulated me. But like several weeks ago he blocked me on most platforms Thinking face 

sufiyan bloodvein @sufiyanblodvein · Mar 22 Well if he's reading this, just wanna say thank you for our adventure trip in 2014. And thank you for the t-shirt you bought me from japan Yes your nerdish comfort zone is massive Smiling face with open mouth and tightly-closed eyes but I pray that life goes well according to what you preferred. Allah have plans for us all

First time taking grab plus just now. Nicee. Car seat with arm rest. Automatic doors. Better comfort with few dollars added

Well there's a saying that if it looks too good, you begin to fear it getting stolen haha

As much as I kinda hate my former tl, I just realised he gave me three 'A-grade' ish out of seven Face with open mouth alhamdulillah Okay la, gimme SERGEANT3 for me this june laaaa

@chiefteta · Apr 18 “If you cannot believe that you can do it, then you have no chance at all” I use this at work at all the time to motivate my Team.

@neekchan · Apr 23 Replying to @malik_matin I don't think I've seen Singaporeans being so nice to Singaporeans as much as during this entire #circuitbreakersg. It's really one of the best incidental outcomes.

Iftar meme visualised in words and observation: Newly wed: homemade tapao chicken kebab with cheese and lettuce, nuggets, fruits, kurma 5yrs married: homemade jemput2 pisang, kurma 10yrs married: sandwich 7 eleven, kurma

@rahim_isam · Apr 25 21 pesanan bermakna dari  Ebit Lew. 1- “Walaupun kita miskin, tapi bila kita ada agama, kita bahagia” 2- “Kita solat bukan sebab kita baik, tapi sebab kita hamba Allah.” 3- “Siapa betulkan solat, Allah betulkan hidup dia.”

Until today I still censore my wife's face. I prefer low profile

10 'nice' things about the CB/kovid - a thread 1 - erp is suspended. As an essential worker, now and then I have to pass thru gantries via cte/aye 

2 - electricity bills rebate wah, this month electric bill i pay nothing because deducted from the rebate voucher 

3 - slight petrol price drop No jaybi petrol during this period Pensive face but oh well, ron95 is about 15 cents per litre cheaper at the moment 

4 - the mask With our facial expressions consealed, we receive lesser bullshit from (malay) colleagues. No more 'ko gile pe senyum sorang2' or 'ko nampak mcm monyok aje. Senyum la siket' Hence much less complication from judgemental people of a certain race 

5 - WFH / rotational work week Seriously. I envy you people because I'm not entitled Unamused face Despite challenging productivity, think of all the transport money and commuting and hassle you saved Also if you're on period (for the ladies) 

6 - social distanting (S.D.) Seriously. When I was in a queue at a supermarket or boarding the bus.. Irritates me when my butt is touched or the heel of my shoe is stepped on As especially when the cashier is still scanning my items, your barang2 also no SD put near mine Confused face 

7 - less traffic Okay, maybe too similar to number 1. But on a regular rush hour I would be Racing motorcycle lanesplitting a gridlock traffic with 3 bikes in front of me and 3 bikes behind me Worth mentioning. Safety and road-mental related haha 

8 - quality family time

Tweets - 1 March

 @IlmFeed · Dec 30, 2019 Thread: Here are some of our favourite stories from 2019: When a politician who once said 'Islam is a lie' became a Muslim:

Best nine tapi letak 16 gambar. Dah 2020 pun maths tak pandai2

I think sinkapo is the only place where you can be broke and overweight at the same time

Don't mean to preach but the propose of buying a -car insurance- is to prepare for an accident. You're 100% sure that in a lifetime you won't involve in an accident? Then skip buying it Same goes to your -prayers- If you're 100% sure you'll end up in heaven? Then skip it

A hobi that i might want to take up this year? Drone flying. Maybe cooking. Or start on the ukulele.

@imranye dont take it too seriously, it is just a tv show, if u do take it too seriously, it really says a lot about your trust in god.

18 Things People Think This Decade Will Be Remembered For 19. Rise of uber and phv 20. Rise of pmd 21. Rise of food delivery apps 22. Car/bicycle sharing 23. Mobile online gaming 24. Social media 'story mode' 25. Man city fans

Always considered myself as an oldskol guy. Not retro, but just outdated. Back then when kids are into mcr, fall out boy and shit. I was into iron maiden, helloween, early deftones material, rage against the machine and all It's just that new products lack depth and character

Finally watched antman2 just now.. With that i finished watching all phase 1 mcu movies. The brightest tone so far, nobody died in the story

Carik kawan rapat pun macam jodoh jugak Imagine. Reservist sama2, keje tempat sama2, dua2 naik motor, main mobile game sama app, support sama team bola sama.. So many similarities yet still. Kalau die tak nak rapat dgn kite, nak buat ape? 

sufiyan bloodvein @sufiyanblodvein · Jan 13 So many common interests yet no chemistry 

sufiyan bloodvein @sufiyanblodvein · Jan 14 On a positive note, we just have to respect another one's freedom of choice. Yes lines are drawn. But sometimes the most meaningful friendships are forged through mutual understanding despite differences

Some people have to post a pic of every single thing they buy which are quite expensive Thinking face 

sufiyan bloodvein @sufiyanblodvein · Jan 15 And imagine if this nigga actually owes you money

IG shud create a premium version: 9.99 per month, especially people who post more than 3 stories with a day hahah Make the ------------------------------ people pay for this kind of shit Smiling face with open mouth and tightly-closed eyes free basic version only entitled to 3 stories a day 

sufiyan bloodvein @sufiyanblodvein · Jan 19 *within a day

It's about the bigger picture when someone no longer appears in your life

@_nadirahp · Jan 20 White people so dramatic. This man wife had to work overtime and he was upset so he dumped the whole dinner in the garbage. Face with tears of joy why?

Washing my hands in the toilet and then my colleague entered and said START VICTORY MODE

Really envy people who still refuse to eat veggies or beansprouts Frowning face back when I was a toddler, I had my own rebel agenda too! I refuse to wear any pants. Mum would scold and chase me around the house forcing me to wear one If only I was as determinedly stubborn like you all Pensive face 

sufiyan bloodvein @sufiyanblodvein · Jan 26 Mum outsmarted me when I was 7. Like a dictator she is, mum told me 'no TV no Power Rangers until you wear your bloody pants on you shameless little boy' And of course I surrendered. Mighty morphin PR was the shit. Think of what I could have become today Pensive face 

sufiyan bloodvein @sufiyanblodvein · Jan 26 Also, at the age of 7 it was my circumcision That first few days 'Lil P' was bleeding and all. Even I got so scared what I'm seeing in between my legs, I started wearing pants ever since

Being around malay colleagues be like 'senyum la siket. Senyum tu sedekah' And moments later another colleague will say 'kau macam tak betul aje senyum sorang sorang'

Parody of spice girls - mama: Song is renamed to 'mamak'. The music video will be shot at restaurants like srisun prata at  around 1am. Showing customers eating, smiling and enjoying their supper. Appreciating mamak food whilst all the other eateries had already been closed.

Is there a special hell for people who eat kuaci irresponsibly at work

@jalalmisai68 · Feb 4 Pakcik baru balik ziarah kematian. Innalillahiwainna ilai hiroji'un. Sayu hati bila terkenang satu nasihat Buya Hamka, "..kematian lebih banyak terjadi di tempat tidur berbanding pesawat, tapi kenapa lebih ramai yang takut mati ketika menaiki pesawat berbanding di tempat tidur?"

Facial appearance tells a lot but not everything. How many times have we heard "at first I thought you're arrogant, but actually you're the nicest people I've ever met"

Cainese: shopping everything and anything, queueing, rushing to stock up the food and supplies Other brown peoples: browsing thru the best paraphernalia at the hardware store to rob them

@Zackyrif · Feb 12 It's scary to learn that everyday since the time of your birth, the angel of death will visit you and in those days, he'll ask God, "Dear god, is it his/her time?" And the answer has always been no. May god grant you a beautiful death on the day he finally says yes. Ameen.Relieved face

A: kerata masuk jaybi tak boleh pump minyak 95 eh? 97 aje kan B: tengok pump attendant die.. Ade yng tak kasi, ade yng tutup mata A: tapi kalau pump attendant die pakai Dark sunglasses macam mana nak tau mata die tutup ke tak?

Malay names corresponds to certain decade am I right When was the last time you seen an elder pakcik by the name of hafiz or farhan Or a millennial/younger by the name of dollah or jamilah or rokiah or osman. Or buang

Dizzy face 190 bucks gone Money with wings to have my suzuki coolant set replaced

@muftimenk · Feb 26 Don't speak negatively about your spouse to others; including friends & family! By doing so you’re destroying the life within your relationship. You’re inviting Satan to dwell on the negatives. Even if your spouse has done wrong, speak to him/her privately, not to a third party!

@HajiDevil · Feb 26 ITE student caught a perv, while Uni students were caught being pervs. Shows u tht education is beyond the classroom or institution.

Tweets - 31 dec 2019

Friends who know me since 2017: kau ni badan tak naik2 eh
Friends who know me since 2011:
wah yan, badan kau makin naik


@aiirifrost
·
Nov 1, 2019
Recent spats of molestation cases among teens - korang tkde hobby lain ke? Play guitar and form a band ke. Release your energy somewhere useful please. Form boyband pon ok.


Sometimes a person's obesity can determine a person's financial status



A twin under 700cc with 100hp Face screaming in fear

That's insane if you ask me. A twin duc or ktm engine needs to be around 800cc to archive that kind of power


@IslamicTongue
·
Nov 10, 2019

ALLAH will not put a burden on you which you cannot handle!!!

Kalau keje dgn lain department lain agency nak kene sombong ke?

Let's be mature guys. There's always rumours being spread about other departments killing each other. But who knows in times of need, kita akan perlukan tolong antara sama2?

Remember the tale of the Lion face and the Mouse face

Semua hobi pakai duit. Collect helmet motor, main muzik, main drone, main bowling blaa bla

Ade ke hobi yng tak pakai duit?

Nose piercings are a turn off for me

@iffgone

·

Nov 16, 2019

Someone :

Colgate is a brand

Maggie is a brand

Planta is a brand

Clorox is a brand

Pampers is a brand

Panadol is a brand

Me : 

Belikan maggie Indomie, pampers Drypers, colgate Darlie, planta Butterfly dengan clorox jenama Vanish.

Consider myself to be an empathetic person because everything is about perspective

Everybody cares about whether they got stabbed behind their back, nobody realises that someone has helped them without them knowing. #antihusnuzon

Locker West Wing, pantry East Wing, toilet central wing. Tempat wudhu pun mcm jauh dari locker takde shelter

@ashvinmenon

·

Nov 23, 2019

I legit remember asking my dad when I was young why he was eating beef.

"Oh because Malaysia imports our cows from Australia which means they're Christian cows so it's fine"

I... I believed this for longer than I'd like to admit. Face with tears of joy

'1. Recognise the unfair advantages'

When she mentions this, it can actually be applied to many things in life

Financial status, religion dedication, work skill level and etc

Most instances rely on family backgrounds or past working experience

If you think air frying food is much more healthier than deep frying.. Wait till you try to clean your air fryer Neutral face 6-7 years worth of grease

@FakkahFuzz

·

Aug 18, 2013

I'm at the age where if I see an old dude wear a T-shirt of my fav band, i get excited and then I realize that we were classmates in pri sch

4 plugs 3 bottles and the air filter cleaned. 120 bucks

For the bros who are too easily mesmerised by a girl's beauty, remember

A bicycle completely fixed with a r15 coverset is still a bicycle

"I'm at the age where if the group of MRT police see me, they greeted me 'good evening uncle/auntie' instead of screening me"

Dulu rt strict seh. Attire and bearing the tiptop, kene fall in according to number tag. Trainer pulak tekan kite rabak2 mcm recruit

Skrg.. Boleh pakai earrings la, rambut zlatan la, rambut cavani la.. Fall in pun bersepah

Lagi pandang korg2 yng taknah buat ippt 5 stations

Hot shower after riding and drenched in downpour. Best feeling so far

@aimansalim_

·

Dec 20, 2019

zombie boleh gigit manusia, lepastu jadi zombie. kenapa manusia tak gigit zombie. lepastu jadilah manusia

"nod cosmetics - ALL EYES ON YOUU"

"ejen riyan ria - JANGAN PANDANG BELAKANG"

"nene chicken - NENEK KAUUU"

First time successfully did parallel parking. In between 2 cars.

Nothing to brag though. Did it with a kecik molek blu sg car Smiling face with open mouth and tightly-closed eyes

Mak cik at the mee rebus stall charge me 80 cent for begedil

@ShaykhAzhar

·

Dec 24, 2019

It’s not haram to wish our Christian friends a merry Christmas. 

It’s not haram to wish our Jewish friends a happy Hanukkah. 

It’s a greeting, not the propagation of a belief system, so relax.

Your faith won’t dissolve, I promise you.

@vpsupercorp

·

Dec 27, 2019

Our govt: Singapore has no natural resources, we are the only resource. 

ME: okay, so why dont you invest in us? Give us free education, free healthcare, and increase our wages, 

Our govt: *cricket noises*

Tweets - 31 oct

What superpower do you wish you could have?
The ability to control any audio equipment
Ah beng nga bawak escooter bukak lagu techno kuat2. Tiba2 aku tukar jadi surah al-imran by sheikh mishary alafasy
Pastu die terpaksa stop kejap pakai songkok jubah


Favourite sad song.
Sometimes things in life crumbles like a #houseofcards But just know that you're not alone and helping hands are just around the corner.
May you find strength in your Maker and ease the pain. It's never the end but always a new beginning


@Alhamdoelilaah
Allah will never give you more than you can bear. He might let you bend, but He will never let you break. Trust Him!
"Allah does not burden a soul beyond it can bear."
[Qur'an 2:286]


Few days ago I spotted the car with a 360 camera mounted at the top.. I'm gonna be on google whahahaha


The new Saudi. Woman can now drive. Not that I'm against it


Me: jawi name written on ic, arabic username on facebook
Also me (a middle-eastern man asks for directions):


Officially watched my first naruto episode


@IlmFeed
"If you want something bad enough and you haven't prayed tahajjud, I don't believe you want it bad enough in my opinion."


@SwearingSport

Never fucking forget the time a cat ran into a glass door during a French baking show


Abeh kalau songkok tapi kat atas ade circle pentagram


@KingBach
·
Sep 27, 2019

All comedy offends someone. Name one comedian that doesn’t offend anyone. I’ll wait...


I rarely drink redbull. Why do they taste like concentrated pineapple juice



Morale always perks up when you find someone shitter than you


1. Excessively long intros
2. Like share and subscribe like share and subscribe (i need it or I'll kill myself) 
3. Please buy my merchandise! (i need your money too)
4. More obnoxious music than engine sounds


And in english football context, the last time a league champion won with four matches to spare is man united's 2012/13 season


One litre tupperware full of mac chilli sauce packets
My sis should chill on the mcdelivery/grab


In the middle-east version of the reality show The Bachelor, do they have four winners


@UstazAmirulAmin
·
Oct 7, 2019
NAK keluarga BAHAGIA?
Kita WAJIB:
-Baca Al Quran at least 1 muka surat sehari,
-Baca 1 hadis Nabi Muhammad Saw setiap hari bersama ahli keluarga,
-Baca Istighfar setiap hari at least 100 kali setiap hari,

Hubungan family akan baik,kalau hubungan dengan ALLAH dipelihara.


Took me 9 years before reaching the peak
Huge milestone ahead of me and it'll be another 9 years for me to reach this same height again?
But alhamdulillah jodoh arrives at the proper time Smiling face

Sudden flashbacks during nsf life where digit only varies between doubles and triples


As soon as I get my flooring done, I'm gonna lay all my mcycle spare parts and list them on carousell


My formerly obese 40-year old friend can now run under 6:40mins per km Face screaming in fear father of two

Meanwhile, I'm struggling to run at 8mins per km Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat


@ianznal
·
Oct 15, 2019
Ramai cakap Twitter ni toxic. Bagi aku tak. Kalau di facebook, kita boleh tengok ramai orang share benda tak betul, dan disokong makcik makcik yang kurang membaca. Di instagram pula ramai penjilat. Kau lawa/hensem, berduyun orang jilat. Di Twitter pula, kau salah, kau mampos.


Please.. Stop calling your spouse ex-bf/gf. Cheesy cliche shit
Face vomiting
Because what if her/his other past exbf/gf commented too? Like six seven of them

Seriously I'm gonna create six seven fake accounts just comment on your stupid punk ass captions


@WhoTheFckIsAJ
·
Oct 20, 2019
'When someone tries to offend you, remember you can't control what they do but you can control your response. Save yourself & don't react.'


I never liked coffee. But I just tried OTWC hazelnut flavour.. Damn I think I gonna start drinking coffee


Pinjaman dunia, bila2 Tuhan boleh tarik balik dari kite. So be humble.


First time Ricky gervais stand up comedy

Aku mengucap


They started singing 'let it goes, let goes.. encik masagos..'