it's okay to be yourself.

but what makes you think you really know yourself? you don't know what an asshole you are until someone eventually breaks your face.

and likewise, you don't know how loving or lovely you are until that someone tells you he/she wants to be with you forever. because he/she just keeps falling in love with you, again. and again.

happy 2012 everyone and anyone =))

- fb

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i have no regrets in 2011.. failures are simply lessons in life. if you can name me one thing i regret in 2011, i treat you lunch or dinner at manhattan fish market.

- tagged

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ni hao wo sher lulu. ah, speak-ke inglish? ah, yes-ser.. in ma opinien, i tink.. its very best.. in xin-jia-por.. raining many-many..

- tagged

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this year, only 1 girl got a birthday present from me. eventually i didn't get to become her boyfriend. and if i'm not wrong, her current boyfriend who is about 7 months with her, is now her fiance. sadly, i still fancy her. but i guess i can't take good care of her heart as great as her loving guy. i wish her the best for 2012..

- tagged

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alamak. i feel so guilty. forgot to wish this friend of mine a happy birthday. i appreciated her help a lot, especially when the time i needed help to buy and get something for this someone's birthday. someone (ahem..) whom i tried to impress. i owe you a lot, sis.

- fb

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aku ni memanglah masih mude. tapi aku tau. kalau iman tak kukuh, diri tak dekat dengan ugama.. hawa nafsu pun jadi tak terkawal. pastu jadilah kes seks luar nikah, kes seks budak bawah umur, kes rogol, kes HIV, kes pemusnah rumah tangge, kes homoseksual etc. sorry, aku bukan nak kasi ceramah. tapi kalau nafsu diduga ingatlah Tuhan. lindungi-lah kami dari bisikan syaitan yang direjam.

- tagged

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"girl, look. your mind might be twisted and all. your friends at times call you crazy. but to me, i just think that you're born with an active mind. energetic. which brings out the sexy. yes, i find you attractive in a way. and your smile.. too. have a pleasant night shift duty okay. - Roy" how. can or not.

- tagged

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was working beside 'guy A' when all of a sudden 'girl B' stormed into his workspace, turns on red light and puts cone. she starts nagging at him, words like "why do you left me? why do you ditch me? please tell me! and why are you suddenly with this other girl?!!" her eyes are almost into tears. and i guess 'girl B' just wasted her half-an-hour break being there nagging at 'guy A'. fuh, drama lerr..

- fb

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"connect us" party

just been to a 'singles get together' party last night. not really into it actually. went there with 3 other guys friends in the name of experimental. the party has a decent crowd from what i observe. majority in their 30s'. one of my friends managed to exchange number with a pair of girls aged 25. the youngest ladies we could find there i guess..

- tagged

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having slight migraine every night. since this week. have to massage my own head and it'll be okay.. must be wisdom tooth again.

- fb

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crap la.. 4 pts in the circuit. but on the road get 20 pts and immediate failure. have to wait till mid-feb..

- tagged

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so close no matter how far, couldn't be much more from the heart. forever trusting who we are..

- fb

what? insomania? man, i really pity you people.. because i sleep after every meal. kfc takeaway for lunch just now.. it's time to...

- tagged

just survived the weekend, working. it's been a heavy workload. i hope i'm not down with fever anytime now. because this upcoming week there's big things for me to look forward to. starting from tomorrow. going to ssdc..

- fb

shifting my house next month. will miss going to work by foot. in fact i have never taken a bus to work before. my house is even nearer to work than the nearest multi-storey carpark. hmm. why didn't i think earlier of asking my colleagues if any of them wants to buy my house.

- fb

this former schoolmate of mine, last time she very tomboy one. but i just met her in her custom uniform, putting light make-up, rebond shoulder-length hair.. still talks slightly like tomboy; the tone. but when she giggles.. wah, so cute and adorable lah! bagus, dah ke jalan yang lurus.

- tagged

some say if you have kids, and you realised how much they grew up, it hurts everytime your kids say goodbye.

- tagged

dear miss starisyah, it's fine if you don't want to answer the questions you owe me. i just want to know why you stop talking to me. i'm fine if you tell me that i'm just like the rest here. burn the whole forest simply because of a tree if you will. there's always someone else who will treasure me as a quailty online friend.

- blog only

there's this girl at my work. she lives at pasir ris. i partner with her again just now. i felt like asking for her number, again. but instead i asked her this, "do you trust the guys here at work? you know what i mean." she smiled and replied "seriously, no." hmm.. i understand she's just being careful.

- tagged

her fb status "many girls fall in love with the wrong guy, simply because the wrong guy usually says all the right things." hmm..

- tagged

listening to a friend's break up story made me sad. her someone simply left her without saying a word. and several days later he told her "i'm sorry, i'm just not sure what i was doing all the while when i'm with you." i guess love is a losing game.

- tagged

'assurance' - if you give someone assurance that something is true and will happen, is to say that it is definitely true and it will definitely happen, in order to make them feel less worried and anxious. eg. She needs a guy who shows and gives assurance that he's interested in her, only.

- fb

hates ppl who borrows money and has no initiative to repay back as soon as possible.

- tagged

wah. awesome lah this guy friend of mine. i stumble upon him only once or twice a year. but everytime i meet him, he's with a different girl. not that i think he's more perfect than me. nor i want to be just like him. maybe he's blessed with more than his great looks. maybe he's in high-demand with the ladies, in malay term it's called 'laku'.

- tagged

gals whom i asked for their number, they didn't give me. gals whom i didn't ask for their number, they gave me their number. life is funny. nope, correction. gals are funny.

- tagged

my work friend just got married today at the age of 30. semoga berkekalan amin..

- tagged

selengge bacin

u r so cute.

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like this if you have been to the cinema alone, the movie timing in the late morning like 10.30am, when there's not much people around

- tagged

now that i passed my ippt, i'm done with restricting myself to eat fast food only once a week, go gym at least once a week, sandwich dieting, bla bla bla.. my legs still ache after yesterday's 2.4km run.

-fb

everytime i watch the party rock anthem music video at mtv asia, i will watch it till the end. because towards the end there's a blonde who only swishes her hair, barely sings, barely dances. but she's hot!!

- tagged

joke of the day

"basikal nie penat bwk saye.. tu psl saye tolak basikal nie.. bukan saye penat."

total friends at blog: 23
friends' blog has been removed/ blog not found: 14
friends' blog inactive since 2009: 3
friends' blog inactive since 2008-2006: 3
friends' blog still active (2011): ItmeAin Han, Raden Dwi Nur Rikmoko & Tan Kailin

p.s. 5 years on and i'm still active and loyal to my blogspot.

- fb (friend count :462)

november rain.. -fb
i'm not lost. i'm just haven't been found. - tagged

what a day. got one ah lian driver mount curb on both her right wheels. then her front right tire burst. the car got stuck for 45 mins.. at my counter :))

- fb

awak, awak bukan makin gemuk. awak makin sihat. awak kene lah berterime kaseh kat dier yng slalu ajak awak klua mkn. kalau kurus sgt nanti awak nampak sakit pulak. siti oh siti.. slamat mlm dan slamat pagi awak =)

- tagged

ladies. does what he's working as, really matters? does his job defines himself? well. with what he earns, he will buy himself clothes to make himself look good when he's out with you. with what he earns, he is willing spend together with the time with you. with what he earns, he'll buy you gifts just to tell how much you meant to him..

- tagged

just realised that yesterday is my first time having teatime in a 'trendy' coffee-house outlet. at mccafe. well, i once entered coffee bean in 2005. but that was when i was looking for a part-time job. and in 2007, ya kun kaya toast for an interview. hmm. ya kun kaya toast trendy or not huh? and starbucks is the most 'happening' coffee place right..

- fb

today is a great day. went to pasir ris sports centre with friends, and then go bowling at downtown east. later met an old friend on the way home in the bus. reached home and mum bought burger ramli. from jb!!

- tagged

Good morning. Going to the gym later. Had to bring extra shoes because my friend will need it. He's waiting for payday.. Leceh sial dier nie!! Gaji sergeant pun tak cukup nak beli kasut pe?? Bukan nyer da kahwin atau dah ader family sendiri. Bodo punye sergeant

- tagged

different people have different reactions when it comes to the bitterness of not getting what they wanted; having instead to watch someone else in first-person-view getting what that was wanted. the feeling when there's only room for two and you're the invisible third.

- tagged

some guys are just awesome players. they overshadow others, rendering them invisible. he's so invincible he made us invisible. maybe it's just not our day.

- tagged

wohoo!!! semalam punye semalam otak-otak maseh ade dlm fridge!! bukan sembarang punye otak-otak tau. pasar geylang punya beb. sarapanku..

-fb

just had a dead heavy brunch. murtabak, roti curry and roti cheese. every time i gaze at my cosy bed, there's an imaginary wife in night dress calling me to sleep. And I said, "sorry darling, talk to my hand. mak i cakap tido lepas makan tak bagus."

-fb

halloween. speaking of scary, i think foreigners here are scarier than our own ghosts. 1 out of 2 abandoned hospitals and old buildings are now foreign workers' dormitories and maid shelters. anytime soon, we will be running out of haunted places. no wait. even our ghosts are foreign-born japanese soldiers.. err.

-fb

it didn't rain when i was cycling a total distance of 16km in the late morning. and right now, it is raining when i am about to take my long afternoon nap before my night shift tonight. Alhamdullillah. fml (feeling mighty lucky)

-tagged

to guys who own a samsung galaxy tab or iPad. what's your reaction, if your gf or wife suddenly snatched the tab from your hands to kill a cockroach. "Piakk!!" and you got yourself a free cockroach 'tattoo' at the back of your iPad2. Hahahah

you get what you give. how will you get people to love and respect you, if you don't give them love and respect; if you don't give yourself love and respect. good night facebook!! :)))

count:448

marksmanship reservist shooting $200! 32 points plus 50 points

good morning friends. i just woke up from a beautiful 7-hours of sleep. don't hate me cos' i'm beautiful.. beautiful sleeper. hahah. i guess exercising hard last evening helped me a lot. well, i wish you guys and ladies a great day ahead. **cheers**

you live only once. but that doesn't mean you should fail only once. and that doesn't mean you should try only once.

count:

very sporty girls go for very sporty guys. let's be realistic. it's unconventional for a sportsgirl marathon runner girl to be with a fat, or a non-sporty guy. all she cares is marrying her six-pac with his six-pac. lesson learnt: very sporty girls, not really my type because i'm not really their type! and yes, i do suck at sports and spent most of the 90 minutes sitting on the bench!!

11 october,

cold & flu. feel like taking mc. but after yesterday's incident, i guess no go. well, if not for the rainy morning, i could have gone cycling this morning

count:

my right brain always tells me not to stop thinking and wondering about her. my left brain always reminds me that she should not be rushed. dear little miss floorball camp, i miss listening to how your day went bad or good. still willing and waiting your reply. you have all the time in the world, my friend :)))

count:447

if saying 'sorry' is the hardest thing to do, it means that you're saying that it's too impossible for you to be a better person for him/her. and has therefore given up fighting for him/her.. hence, never say 'sorry seems to be the hardest word'.

count:22

just something to share that might be useful :))
if saying sorry to Person X is not enough, maybe you should add-on the following with that 'sorry' of yours: prove to Person X that you would repeat less, if better, never to repeat that mistake ever again. prove to Person X that he/she can count on you better the next time. prove to Person X that you have made changes and put in an effort. prove to Person X that he/she really meant something to you. that's all. thanks for reading! ;)))

count:445

jamming with a new band this evening. but i got a feeling that the band members will not come on time. maybe not even turn up and act 'blur'. no high hopes. confirm 'janji melayu'.

count:445

how can i not resist that gorgeous-looking box of chocolate. it's so alone on the shelf. so sweet, so darling adorable. though all those chocolates inside are meant for someone else, but it lets me have a tiny portion of a bite. and that's quite enough to make me happy till the end of the day. dear box of chocolates. if he's not there for you, i can't stop myself from being there for you. as a friend. or maybe more =)

count:19

if you don't receive even a simple 'thank you' after all the troubles and what you've done to freakin' help someone, karma will repay you back that deed one day. on an another occassion and often in a different form. for example, in the form of a 'mat motor' who would dearly send you to your workplace at teban.. gua jealous lah. nampaknye your 'mat motor' is at the top of your list. bluekk

count:440

once, i woke up in the middle of the night because i choked on my own stinky saliva (or what malays might call it, air liur basi). i think i almost ended up on the show "1000 ways to die". fml (feeling mighty lucky)

count:440

is it a must to buy every series and generation of the iphone (or any other tech stuff) upon its release. one day i'll overhear someone saying "oh my god! iphone9 is gonna be out next week!" and his/her friend will go "oh my god i hate you!! i just bought my iphone8, i so hate you now!!"

PRIDE course speaker mr roy said, "youngsters nowdays don't like to think. thinking is hard for them. why? because at home their parents think for them. in school their teachers think for them. and if at work their bosses had to think for them." hmm...

was about to accomplish cycling 24km in a week but the weather puts me back in bed. fml (fine, maybe later)

count:441

if you have something good to look forward to after work, the suffering at work just seems to get lighter and lighter. it can be anything. yet simple. mum's cooking, a best friend to accompany you back home, eating out with friends later, your favourite pump petrol station in jb, your comfy bed waiting for you at home.. anything except for a post-work briefing/meeting (IST)

count:439

johnny english reborn is hilarious slapstick. rate it 7.5 out of 10. but what really spoils my mood watching is the poly student seated on my right. he with his poly boyfriends. he provided free commentary, telling what's to happen next before every good and funny part. obviously he watched it more than once. bloody idiotic spoilsport. wish i had snapped his neck and spun his head backwards

brown rice with mom's awesome fishball soup for lunch. while listening to my favourite radio station sinar fm. appreciating the simple pleasures of a day. okay now, off to work. it's abang johari's last day. my locker neighbour :(

"i hate these pimples on my face but i would never ever eat veggies." "i want to have a great body but i'm too lazy to exercise." "i think my pay is not enough because i keep spending on the latest tech gadgets." - haven't these people heard of the term SELF-DISCIPLINE

Nasi briyani dam delivery at your doorstep! And now, while stock last, to your very own work station!! Tenderloving-care and pampering services also provided! - "darlingg.. u dah makan.. lepas di-ehm 53 uat maner u.. alololor.. kucikuciku.." Call now don't wait!! 1800-ABG-BOTAK-SWIT
:]

i used to count the number of houses with 'hari raya lighting' (lampu kelap-kelip) at the opposite block. this year there's.. only 1? it used to be 6 or 7. a few years ago during hari raya. i guess it died slowly. just like postmailed hari raya cards.

Saye ingin mengucapkan selamat hari raye kepade SEMUE,
Kalau saye ade tersalah silap atau sengaja saye meminta maaf memohon seribu AMPUN..
Kiriman kad raye sekarang send thru e-mail atau facebook AJE,
Tak lamer lagi kad jemputan kahwin agaknye PUN..?

Qn: which part of ________ don't i understand?
a) get over it
b) move on
c) don't dream, it's over
d) seriously bro, get over her
e) all of the above

well, what can i say. i'm just an emo, naive teenager stuck inside a Wentworth Miller's body.

i took out my wallet as i boarded the bus. when i went up the bus, i was so confused because i could not find the ez-link tap card reader. "eh?" and then i looked at the bus driver. the bus driver looked at me back. **cricket sound** the bus i just boarded is a FREE SHUTTLE BUS SERVICE.

1 year ago on this date i was promoted to SC/Corporal. The promotion was 10 months late, as shown on the certificate of promotion. I got the backpay eventually. A month's pay plus 10 months of corporal allowance. Would like to thank once again OOS, DSO and OC because they faught for my rank against the inferior and inefficient PNS office!

this afternoon two guys from charlie were talking loud behind my back. i've seen them before somewhere but i really don't know who they are. as i walked further away from them, they talked even louder. all the way from the elevator to the locker. their annoying words are "hey this guy face look like a chinese deeoh. hey chinese deeoh! hey chinese deeoh!!"

darah aku up!! boiling!!! lu punya lagi satu bulan mau expire, extension da brape puluh kali, mrz dah faded, pastu lu mau ajar gua suroh key in manual. lu gi masok lane laen skrng!! da 2nd jumpe yng si bodo nie. hate to entertain this kind of stubborn, smart-alex, trying-their-luck s'poreans.

di bulan puase takde setan tapi ade 'ORANG MULUT SETAN'. ORANG-ORANG yng menghampakan semangat mereka yng ingin beribadah dan bertaubat.
kata-kata MEREKA seperti: "kau nk gi terawih? orang cam kau?? yeh eleh cam real.. kau tu kaki *****, bla bla bla.. puase tahun lepas tak betul, sembayang setahun sekali, lu rilek sua.. jgn cam paham ah lu.. gua kenal lu da lama la.."

there are feelings that i think it's better that i keep to myself. but maybe i'll spill them out a little. i'm slightly jealous, but i'm very glad that things are doing well for you. a smile on your face brings a smile to mine too, even if it's another person who makes you smile. period. =)

Remembering this girl I first dated, exactly 2 years ago. 'Up' the movie. Went out with her a few more times. Only get to hold her hand once when we were crossing the road. On the last date we ate at mad jack cafe for break fast. If I could remember I ordered 2 fish n' chips and 2 coke.

I always don't agree with the quote "what you see is what you get." Life is unpredictable and that's the beauty of it. Maybe I'll rephrase it to "what you get is what you don't see it coming."

to gals trying to lose weight the unconventional, painful way just because they think they're not slim enough to be beautiful: keep in mind that it's the little simple pretty things which captures a guy's attention. the elegant way she touches her hair, her cute giggles, her adorable blushing smile..

everywhere i'm hearing uncles saying "xin-jia-phor" and shortly followed by a "cheebye" or "kannina". i'm getting the big picture dat ppl r unhappy wit the "golf-oscar-victor". at work, at the coffeeshop, under the block, at the atm, everywhere. hidup susaa mati pun susaa hor.

yesterday morning i went to fairprice. and discovered dat the price is not fair anymore. i overspent my $50 bill, had to discard away glades air refreshener and my favourite banana nut crunch cereal. i should have gone to sheng shiong supermarket. or ABC 'cheapest store in singapore' the one with the pinoy cashier

really miss the times when computer games are in control of my life. hours spent alone everyday on games like red alert2. its when i have no time to think of: girls, socialising, money, self-image, self-morale, work, future, time-managing, politics, investment, karma, self-respect, self-emotions, people's emotions, people's mood-swings, people's expectations, passing ippt...

NS ikan bilis 2 - 'mope'

'mope around' - to wander around a place not doing anything, looking and feeling unhappy. eg. I remember doing night-time sentry duty during the 18 months of NS. You either mope around the guard post or you converse with your partner to stay awake.

NS ikan bilis - walking

On my way to work at clementi police headquarters, I would often walk from home to marsiling mrt. I walking distance is around 1.2km.

Playlist 10.02.2011

Genre: Melodic Death Metal

Also: Metalcore, Post-thrash, Progressive/Death, Techincal Death, Thrash

1.Downward Spiral into Madness-Anata

2.At Dusk And Forever-Gates Of Ishtar

3.Moronic Colossus-The Haunted

4.Silent Renewal-Amoral

5.If I Could Collapse the Masses-Trivium

6.Hang Him High-Hypocrisy

7.The Immortal-Arch Enemy

8.1,000 Eyes-Death

9.Deliverance-Opeth

10.I'm The Highway-In Flames

2011

I will:

1. exercise as much as I could
2. jog at least twice a week
3. not eat meat or rice after 7pm
4. avoid old chang kee snacks, but mr bean
5. eat less fast food