tweets 31 nov - 1 feb

Things that i didn't have back then (but most kids do)

-tamiya
-playstation 1/2
-gameboy
-digimon
-beyblade
-bumble bee yoyo
-super soaker
-heelys

Instead i had

-audley
-windows 95/98
-brickgame
-tamagochi
-mitre epl soccerball
-watergun from tora candybox
-Styrofoam airplane


🤔 imagine ade org suruh bomoh santau. Bomoh baca2 pastu tiba2 jin die reply:

Eh ni nama ramai orang pakai la! Kat singkapo pun ade indon pun ade.. numbor paspot numbor ic ada?


@qilahrzli
 2 Dec 2018

Phone calls are replaced by WhatsApp. Feelings are now tweets. And memories are some pictures we post on Instagram.


@izzharnazri
 27 Nov 2018
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Antara sebab rezeki sempit?

Kedekut dengan ahli keluarga.

Especially mak ayah.


Bangsa melayu harus lebih seperti bangsa cina. Mereka selalu mencintai dan mengingati ibu mereka pada setiap saat

Tidak percaya, dgr lah percakapan mereka:


ching chong chin ciao MOTHER ching chong chong MOTHER ching chai MOTHER kanina ni de ching ching MOTHER


Kenape kahwin jgn lambat sangat?

Kat tempat keje aku ade officer yang re-employment (past 55 yrs old).. masih kene keje sebab anak masih sekolah kat polytechnic..

Mmg rezeki jodoh masing2.. tapi kalau asyik nak 'single and easy' dah tua baru sedar..


Just my observation


Kalau nak murah rezeki jgn percaya kat bende2 zodiac ni semua.


Percaya kat quran lagi bagus


@CWonkasm
 8 Dec 2018
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That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow.


Ganti disc brake depan $720 😱


@dibfitri
 14 Dec 2018
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"Hidup ni bukan sentiasa senang, bukan sentisa bahagia, sebab Allah selalu nak uji kita, sebab bila dah bahagia, senang, berjaya kita lupa siapa diri kita"


Kenape facebook makin poyo eh


Do check out the new gojek website

It's called goblog


Kalau aku foreigner baru dtg sini, pastu takde certified knowledge pasal leadership atau security atau customs law tiba2 jadi inspector. Confirm korg tak respect aku. Betul tak? I was referring to an elderly colleague of mine.. he just started running a restaurant in jehbee.


Datang keje asyik lambat/amek timeoff. Keje pun siket membawang membebel byk. Gi retire skrg pun cantik


Ade orang sembur hinggus kat tissue

Ade orang satu alam semesta la tissue die. Sembur kat lantai kat tembok kat rumput kat tangga kat cermin

Hashtag pengotor


@gary302
 18 Dec 2018
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Anyone who thinks the problems at MUFC will disappear overnight are having a laugh. The owners, the CEO and a lot of the players are cunts. I’d like to thank Mr Mourinho for winning the UEFA cup and making it a complete set of trophies.


@ReccaluvsAi
 20 Dec 2018
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I swear most escooters have such bad taste in music and I always wonder why they have the need to share it with the rest of the world.


@FaktaAgama
 20 Dec 2018
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Sayyidina Ali bin Abi Talib  telah berkata:

Simpan rahasiamu berdua saja:

1. Dirimu
2. Allah swt

Jagalah di dunia ini dua keredhaan:

1. Ibumu
2. Bapamu

Mohonlah bantuan ketika susah dengan dua hal:

1. Sabar
2. Solat

Jangan risau dua hal ini:

1. Rezeki

2. Ajal


"Expensive leisure toys"


All humans are not fat if we reset to 'factory settings'

But it's what we eat, how much we eat, and how much our food addiction has gradually increased over the years bla blaa

And also by our lifestyle which is influenced by technological conveniences like food panda etc
Metabolism also plays a part blaa blaa

If you notice people who live at rural kampung areas are not obese

Because their nearest McDonald's is a few hours drive.


Plus they live day-to-day on tough labour like farming, fishing etc


The alternate word for penis suggested by my parents when i was young: 

bulbul


@inche_lebah
 14 Sep 2018
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3 malaikat yg jaga kita bila keluar rumah jika baca ni;

Bismillahi tawakkaltu a'lallahi walahaulawala quwataillah billah hila'liyil a'zim

Malaikat pertama ditugaskn oleh Allah beri petunjuk

Malaikat ke-2 ditugaskn utk cukupkn rezki


Malaikat ke-3 ditugaskn utk melindungi kita


@ZulfadhliFahmi
 20 Dec 2017
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" Si kaya  berulang alik ke Mekah mencari redha Allah...  Sedangkan jaraknya dgn si miskin hanya di sebelah rumah... "


Kalau tak happy, bilang dgn org tu face-to-face.. kalau bebual belakang, mulut prompan pun boleh buat


Used holiday items, let's go


Before you criticize a Muslim brother for impersonating a kafr etc. Keep in mind that it's part of his job and that's how he earn a living.


Bila lupa : Astagfirullah 

Bila berjanji : InshaAllah 

Bila marah : LaailahaillAllah 

Bila terkejut : MasyaAllah 

Bila rindu: Ku sebut namamu


Only after 3 yrs
in the eye-see-eh: my first 🏍️
5 yrs: my first promotion
6 yrs: my 2nd posting

7 yrs: my first >200cc 🏍️

8 yrs: my first engagement

my first appointment as field/dtl


'I tak mkn sayur k' starter pack


Seems like everyone is into FB 'fortunetelling' thingy kind of shit


@QusyairiH
 28 Dec 2018
More
KFC is expensive? Stop eating KFC.
Car is expensive? Use public transportation.
Starbucks is overpriced? Try nescafe.

The problem with our society now is instead of working hard to be able to afford stuffs, we prefer to force corporations to match our laziness


Gtx1050 vs gtx1060.. rated 30% better performance on 1060..


.. price difference $500-700 😮
Gtx960 vs gtx1050.. rated 3% better on 1050.. meh so tiny difference


Within 8 years i've never bought a new pc/lappy but i've changed my bike 4 times


Aku heran org2 ni kesah pasal american politics and trump.. like they really affect us directly 🤔


2018: the year when 'rainbows' is considered a color symbol of gay


Yesterday i saw this post which sounded like


'pilih lah pasangan yng berpegang pada ugama. Sebab kalau dia sanggup tinggalkan ugama, dia pasti sanggup tinggalkan kau'


Here the malaysian bikes are louder than harley davidson

Cc: tp and lta


Actually nak menang epl senang je

38 games total

10 games lawan dgn top 5, kalah takpe. Pakai subs/ youngsters

Yng remaining 28 games mati2 kene menang. Not even a draw.

Hence,

W  D L   pts

28 0 10 84
United and leicester managed to win the league with less than 84 points in the 2010/11 and 2015/16 season.


Karipap sayur, tahu goreng.

Cc: orang yng tak pandai makan taugeh


You do realize in ig, people have a certain way of gaining huge amounts of followers

Like, today you randomly follow 10 people.. maybe 3 will follow you back

Within a month 3*30 = 90 new followers

Then you unfollow all 90 of them

Ini semua strategy 🙄

And these people usually aren't celebrities. They're just addicted to likes that gives them a sense of popularity

Some of these people are selling and promoting their products


After watching kanye west 'i love it' music video, i feel like making a parody

Wear the roblox outfit and then sing "you're such a naughty minah 🎶


@ACommonFemaIe
 Jan 19
More
straight line:
______________________________________

dashed line:
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

someone’s insta story at a party:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


Worst deployment in jp still better than the best deployment in wc

Unless you're anak ikan emas in wc then I believe your level of 'best' is far different from mine 😆


How to deal with idiot jaywalkers: clutch in, 10k rpm


Semua org ada kesalahan sendiri

Sama ada orang lain nampak ke tak
(Hanya Tuhan yng sembunyi keaiban kita)

Sama ada sendiri mengaku ke tak
(Hanya Tuhan yng berikan kita hikmah untuk gerakkan hati kita)


Keje paling susah keje police band. Sebab very note salah kene buat report