tweets 1jul - 9aug

. ‏@Alhamdhulillaah When Allah blesses you financially, don't raise your status of living, raise your status of giving. Charity is extremely important in Islam



@FakkahFuzz Aug 8 Its easier to blame an app than to admit that you have an addictive and irresponsible personality with no self control. #pokemonGofuckyrslf



"main pokemon go ke?" Tak la sial. Aku nga carik reception starhub. dah satu hari digi autoroam ni



Bersyukur dgn ape kite ade.. mata, mulut, telinga, tangan, kaki etc..
imagine kalau Tuhan jadi mcm bill air atau bill electric?
Tuhan: bulan lepas duit mata belum bayar. $40/mthly
You: ah gaji belum masuk
Tuhan: okay, besok kau buta. Bye
Just saying. Bukan nak menpermainkan agama atau ape2



I don't like the idea that people only start to like or miss me when I'm gone.
If you appreciate me, treasure me when I'm around in person
This not only apply to myself, but also your own parents!

Jgn mak bapak da dlm kain kapas, baru nak menyesal tak spent time together



@AkilahObviously Apr 15 Why debate top cereals when tbh they discontinued the best cereal in history [Oreo O's] and I'm still salty about it



How much you save is how much you earn.
Kalau gaji 1.6k
limit2 dpt save $100
Kalau gaji 2.6k
hari2 naik cab, mkn kat cafe, minum kopi hipster secawan $8

in the end pun save $100



hipster alpha males



Much better to be on twitter because there's not much couple photos compared to ig & fb #foreverAlone



@DrBilalPhilips Jul 30 Our #parents are blessings, don't delay showing them #love We don't know how long we have this blessing for. #life



kari ape yng paling hardcore? Enter Shikari #joke



kalau #RondaRousey jadi polis, kite panggil die ape? 
Ronda Ronda. 
#klakarTak #ohTakEh



Last friday masjid hang jebat. Khutbah by uztaz maulana muhd ferozudeen. Just now masjid at jalan ampas.. also uztaz ferozudeen! Wow! What are the odds? #mindblown



"we as guys must always lower our ego when with the ladies, because a men's ego is always far much bigger than the women's.." - work friend



@SantapanMinda Jul 26 Sejahat-jahat manusia ialah mereka yang suka mencari kesalahan dan kecelaan orang sebagaimana lalat mencari bangkai dari tempat2 yang busuk



anak ramai=nafsu kuat
gemuk=nafsu mkn kuat
panas baran=nafsu marah kuat
ptg tido=nafsu tido kuat
syafiq smb=main bola mcm world cup final 😁



@DrBilalPhilips Jul 22 Make sujood to Allah when you are happy about something. If it wasn't for Allah, you would have never achieved it.


#lunch
EAT @ HAWKER CTR
+cheap
+variety
-usually crowded
-hard to get seats
-no aircon
FAST FOOD
+aircon
+no so crowded
-expensive



@farahDeee Jul 17 Allah is always fair. Niari kita yang kene, besok lusa mungkin diorang pulak. *hugs*


L: u nga buat pe
P: i buat roti kirai
L: roti kirai ke roti jala
P: sama kan
L: ntah
P: gi tanye mak you la

10mins later..
P: mak u ckp ape
L: mak i ckp kalau da suke, pegi ajak keluar aje. Takyah whatsapp lama2 dgn prompan tu
😝



@Shilaamzah Jul 15 Maturity is not when we start speaking big things , it is when we start understanding small things ❤️



Cara2 utk mendapat janda power/baik: kene step. bila dah step, baru boleh jadi stepfather
#joke
#takKelakarPun



@FakkahFuzz Jul 15 We need to stop all #prayfor hashtags cuz its clearly an excuse for doing nothing



@itisrj Jul 14 Conspiracy Theory: @Pokemon #PokemonGo is Skynet. @Schwarzenegger help us



A dog meowing is as funny as an asian with a blonde hair. But the dog is much intelligent



"the all-in-one card. Membership card cum ezlink cum MasterCard cum atm card" mmg convenient. Tapi kalau satu card tu hilang, masalah bro



@LincolnHardo 20 Jul 2014 "We all know that one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter" - Reuters global news editor Stephen Jukes



‏@Channel4News 23 Mar 2015 DYK: Lee Kuan Yew in the 1970s banned long hair; Bee Gees and Led Zeppelin cancelled gigs in Singapore due to the ban



‏Every boys dream is to meet a pretty girl who do boys' stuff.



@AwkwardMuslim  Jul 9
Ramadan:

Eats Suhoor at 2am = Not hungry till 9pm

After Ramadan:

Eats Breakfast at 8am, Brunch at 11am, Lunch at 1pm = Starving at 4pm



@FunnyPunjabiGuy  Jul 9
"Standard Chartered bank at Holland Village tightens security."


But which robber would be dumb enough to rob the same place twice?



Don't stop tweeting because facebook is full of old people and people who wanna add you but never really talked to you in person.



Amboih, manje nye korg dua? Ni lepas berak galpren cebokkan ke? #keepCalmAndTroll



Q: how do you say 'nest' in #korean 
A: saranghae



Biasa:
pagi nasi 1 pinggan
ptg 1 pinggan
mlm 1 pinggan

Ramadan:
sahur 3 pinggan
buka 4 pinggan


.. itu pasal ramai org bila puase tk kurus2



Kite yng nk dekat raya, diorg pulak yng sibuk nk gi shopping kat jaybee
menyampah i.



@MutiaraHadist Jul 1 Barangsiapa ingin agar do'anya terkabul dan kesulitan-kesulitannya teratasi hendaklah dia menolong orang yang dalam kesempitan. (HR. Ahmad)



@fitrihadidotcom  15 Aug 2015
Tau apa yg perempuan takut sblum kahwin?

- dpt suami baran
- dpt suami kaki pukul
- dpt suami curang
- dpt suami pemalas

Moga dijauhkan



"Uncle got $1?"

I pat on his head and said "don't talk to strangers, correct? School got teach?"

And the little boy ran away. Hahaha
Aku bukan lokek. Kalau overseas confirm aku kasi die $1.

But I just gave him something worth more than money:

education.

#mcmPhm #haha
Well the thing is, that little nigga can quickly make $10 by asking around $1 in a day..


.. and then go buy his sweets or pokemon cards etc